Happy 13th birthday, my precious Anthie’,

As I sit down to write these words, my heart aches with a blend of love, longing, and hope. Thirteen years ago, on the 8th of June 2012, you came into this world, filling my life with immeasurable joy and meaning. Your laughter, your smile, your very presence – they’ve been the light guiding me through life’s darkest moments.

Anthoula in my arms after her Birthday Celebration 2016.05.29

But today, my heart is heavy, for you’re not here beside me together with your little sister Alexandra as you rightfully should be. Instead, you’re out there, both of you, beyond my reach, taken from me by forces beyond our control. The days without you stretch into an eternity, each moment filled with a profound emptiness that nothing can fill.

Alexandra and Anthoula two days before their Abduction on 2017.04.18

Yet, amidst the pain, there’s a flame of hope that burns unwaveringly within me. It’s fueled by the memories of our time together, the bond we share, and the unshakeable belief that one day, we’ll be reunited. I cling to that hope like a lifeline, knowing that it’s the beacon that will guide us back to each other.

On this special day, as you turn thirteen, I want you to know just how loved you are. Though miles and circumstances separate us, my love for you knows no bounds. It transcends distance, time, and every obstacle that stands in our way. You’re not just my daughter; you’re my heart, my soul, my reason for living and fighting.

I Love You with all my Heart

As you embark on this new chapter of your life, I wish you strength, courage, and resilience. May you find solace in the knowledge that you’re never alone, that my thoughts are always with you, and that I’ll move heaven and earth to bring you back home where you belong.

Happy birthday, my beloved Anthoula. May this day be a reminder of the incredible person you are and the bright future that awaits you. Until we’re together again, hold onto hope, cherish the memories, and know that I’ll never stop searching for you and your little sister Alexandra. My love for you both is more than words can express, and I’ll never give up on you and Alexandra my dearest Anthoula.

An extraordinary song, dedicated to you, performed by a fifteen-year-old girl battling a rare and serious illness that has left her stomach paralyzed. Despite her immense challenges, she delivers a performance that would make even Maria Callas envious, if she were still with us today.

Emma Kok – Voilà (Lyrics in French and translated into English)

I have unwavering faith in your abilities, and I am certain that you too can master this song with dedication and effort. Your choir leader holds the key to unlocking your potential, so seize the opportunity to learn and grow. Remember, practice makes perfect, my Love.

Papa longs to be by your side, supporting you and Alexandra as you chase your dreams and turn them into reality. Let his absence fuel your determination and drive you to reach new heights. You are capable of greatness, my dear. Embrace the challenge and let your talent shine.

Voilà, Dedicated to Anthoula and Alexandra (with minor change)

Listen to me
To me, a mediocre singer
Mention me
To them you love, and to your friends
Tell them about your dark-eyed Papa
And of his wild dream
That I want to write about fantasies
That will reach out to you
That is all

Here I am, Here I am,
I know where I am going
That is who I am……
Here I am even though I am exposed
I am afraid, yes
Here I am amongst the noise
And amidst the silence

Look at me,
Or at least what’s left of it
Look at me,
Before I detest myself
What to tell you, that the lips of somebody else
Will not tell you
It isn’t much, but it’s all I have
I’ll lay it down here
Like so……

Here I am, Here I am,
I know where I am going
That is who I am……
Here I am even though I am exposed
It’s over
It’s from my mouth, it’s my outcry
Here I am, it doesn’t matter
Here I am, it’s me, this is me
I am right here
Me, my dream, my desire
How I am dying, how I laugh about it
Here I am amongst the noise
And amidst the silence

Do not depart
I beg you to stay on for a while
It may not rescue me, no
But to go on without you, I know not how
Love me as you’d love a friend
Who is going away forever
I want to be loved because I don’t really know
How to love my contours……

Here I am, Here I am,
I know where I am going
That is who I am……
Here I am even though I am exposed
I understood
Here I am amongst the noise
And amidst the fury as well
I mean, look at me
And at my eyes and my hands
Everything I have is here
It’s from my mouth, it’s my outcry
Here I am, Here I am,
Here it is
That is who I am……

Here I am, Here I am,
I know where I am going
That is who I am……
Here I am even though exposed
It’s over
It’s from my mouth, it’s my outcry
Here I am, and it no longer matters……

I Love You Anthie and Alexandra

With all my love,
Your Papa Nicolaos
Stockholm, 2024.05.27